Kaylan Smith admits her story is ugly.
“I started using during the height of the opioid epidemic. I was 26 and a mother of two,” Smith said. “At the time though, I didn’t identify as an addict. I thought I was still a functioning person but, in reality, I was deep in the grasp of addiction. I had to take a pill before work, any time before I left the house, even before taking the kids to school. After being incarcerated, I still went back to the same people, places and environment. At that point I started using substances every day.”
Over the course of the next couple of years, Smith found herself incarcerated multiple times, homeless and eventually separated from her children.
“I was in a space I felt was hopeless, in terms of recovery,” she said. “I had repeatedly put myself in many jeopardizing situations, I watched people die around me doing the same thing I was doing. I knew then I had hit rock bottom. I knew I was doing something that was hurting the people I loved the most. I wanted to change. I wanted help. I just didn’t know how to do it. I only knew how to use. That was my everyday life.”
Smith was referred to the Chrysalis Center, Circle Park Behavioral’s inpatient facility, a unique residential treatment facility for women diagnosed with a severe substance use disorder and their young children. While Circle Park facilities provide outpatient care, the Chrysalis Center allows women to live on-site for up to 120 days depending on eligibility.
The approach offers women the opportunity to seek help without losing their children. The children who do reside at the center with their moms also receive therapeutic services at the on-site childcare center while their mothers gain a new chance at life and a chance to break the cycle of addiction. Chrysalis also offers Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT) to all appropriate patients. Individuals can also be assessed for and receive mental health services and psychotropic medications, as well as access general medical care at the facility.
“Chrysalis Center not only helped me with my substance use struggles, but it gave me a chance to heal through trauma therapy and helped me gain life skills,” Smith said. “While there during my 90 days of treatment, I was enrolled in a parenting class, learned to cook, budget — all the things I had lost during addiction. And the support didn’t stop when I completed the program. They helped me with resources to find safe and stable housing so I could continue my journey afterwards, which is really important. The counselors there just didn’t work on one issue, they worked on the whole of rebuilding my life.”
Smith said daily life at the center involved day-long group and individual therapy sessions on self-care, how to process trauma, substance abuse, coping skills and other topics. Representatives from Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous would give presentations. Following the daily sessions, mothers would reunite with their children for supper, family bonding time, game night, and other activities.
The facility has an on-site doula, registered nurse and site visits by local medical doctors. Mothers whose children are not on-site with them are allowed to visit and FaceTime on a regular basis, as well as attend on-site therapy sessions, which is what Smith’s children opted to do.
Through the resources she gained from Chrysalis, Smith was referred to an education and work program to explore various career opportunities.
“When your time is up at Chrysalis, they provide you with the tools and resources to continue your journey outside these walls,” Smith said. “This was critical. They made sure I was set up for success. And it wasn’t just given to me. I had to work really hard to get to that point, but they gave me the tools I needed to achieve that stability.”
In career counseling, Smith realized she wanted to give back to those who were struggling with addiction.
“I finally saw a future for myself. And I wanted to help other people like I had been helped. I just remember the impact my peer support specialist had on my recovery,” she said. “That’s what I wanted to do. To be that bright light for someone. I like to say now that I am turning my pain into my purpose.”
Kaylan Smith, peer support specialist at Circle Park Behavioral Health
To become a certified peer support counselor, Smith had to have a year of continuous sobriety behind her. Following the certification process, she began reaching out to those who had witnessed her journey at the Chrysalis Center and was hired as a peer support specialist two years ago. She now confronts the details of her past head on as she shares her experiences with patients trying to recover from their own substance use disorder.
“They thought I would be a great addition to the team,” Smith said. “The lived experience hits differently when you’re giving support.”
Smith’s success hasn’t stopped there, however. She will graduate with her bachelor’s degree at the end of this month and will begin working on her master’s degree in social work in November.
“Recovery is possible,” Smith said. “A lot of people think it isn’t and that there’s no way out. It has to do with the stigma associated with it. But there are people who have been in your shoes and they will walk with you from the dark into the light as you rebuild your life. That is what peer support is, and I am one of those people now.
“The people at the Chrysalis Center gave me the second chance I needed,” she said. “They saw my potential. They didn’t just see me for my mistakes. They gave me hope that recovery is possible. And now I get to do that for patients here. Breaking down the stigma and advocating for these people. I used to be ashamed of where I went. I always felt people were judging me. Now it’s part of my story and I know my past doesn’t have to define my future.”
Smith is the first to now share with others the not-so-pretty things about addiction — “the ugly,” as she puts it — but grace is now at the forefront.
“Things don’t change overnight,” she said. “I don’t sugarcoat it with any of my clients. We have to intentionally and mindfully work towards recovery every day.”
For more information, visit circlepark.com or chrysaliscenter.com.
